Episode 17: Living in Flow

In this week's solo episode Ame-Lia shares a story of creating from a place of flow. So often as change-makers we strive hard to make things happen. Although that's one way to go about creating change, there are other ways that may open windows for extraordinary possibilities, that don’t take up as much energy. Here, we call that living in the flow.

What’s in this episode for you:

• Why it’s important as change-makers to live from love

• A story of how living in the flow created magic

• A tool to help you lead from a loving, trusting place

Poem: The Flow, by MelodicMatthew

Life flows as a wave. You can paddle your board, stand up and surf, or just get tumbled, and wonder what happened.

Perfect moments can come to those who surf, but need to be appreciated the first time, because those who try to recreate them, will forever be chasing.

 Resisting the flow is a constant fight.

Everything is in flow,

Even the raft you’re clinging to.

Why do you wonder when you’ll finally start?

When you’ve been swimming the whole time.

Tools for change:

How do we lead from a loving, trusting place?  How do we lead from a state of flow?  In this moment - identify an area of your life you have angst. In may be a work-related thing.  A relationship.  Finances.  Health.  Something else. When you think about this situation, you kinda cringe. Now ask yourself what is this feeling telling me about what I truly desire? What is this feeling telling me about what I need? See what comes to you and write it down. Now, let it go and follow the things that feel good. Enjoy the ride!

Pick up the talking piece: 

What came up for you as you listened to this episode? I'd love to hear your experiences with any of the reflections and exercises. Send me an email at podcast@humconsulting.ca or leave a voicemail (click the voicemail button on the right).

Gratitude: 

Circle of Change is recorded on lək̓ʷəŋən territories.

Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E-Rol Beats. You can find his creations at www.erolbeats.com

My fabulous podcast coach, Mary Chan of Organized Sound Productions, brought this podcast to life www.organizedsound.ca

Transcript: (Some words may not be accurately recorded. Please let us know if something seems off.)

Ame-Lia Tamburrini (AT): Change begins from within. As easy as it is to look outside of ourselves and want the world to change, the truth is it never will if we remain the same. This podcast was created for changemakers like you who want more love and connection in your community. Today, you are gonna hear stories that will inspire you and also challenge you to be the change. We are gonna go deep, my friend. So, take a deep breath and settle in. My name is Ame-Lia Tamburrini. Welcome to the Circle of Change.

 Hello, my listener. I am so delighted that you are here. I know I say that every week, but it's true. I love speaking and knowing that you are taking in these words. It's like we are literally sitting together in circle, so thank you so much for your presence. I am particularly jazzed today because I just finished a 1-day retreat with two amazing women, Brett MacDonald and Linda Mackie. These women are each using their special gifts in the world to help people step out of their comfort zone and into their highest, most beautiful selves. Brett using improv and play, and Linda using photography.

I really enjoyed combining aspects of play with circle so women could dive deep and explore other lives themselves with powerful questions, and visualizations, and writing and then accompany that with such movement, and silliness, and jumping all around, and using our voices in all sorts of interesting ways. It was awesome. And the new revelations that people had were really inspiring. I am so lit up with this community that we created and with the power of collaboration. It really brought home my belief that together we can achieve great things. And I am so excited about what's to come.

In a future episode of Circle of Change, we are gonna speak with Brett and another talented play humor artist about the role of humor in transformation. For me, it was such a gift to be able to let loose and be silly like. Literally within 5 minutes, my cheeks were sore, which told me it has been way too long since I laughed so much. Brett and I are excited about what we experienced and what we saw in terms of transformation and are now looking at more ways to collaborate so we can bring this work to others. If you are interested in an experience that connects you to other people, to yourself that allows you to let loose and have fun while also stepping away more strongly rooted in who you are, then please let me know. You can send an email to podcast@humconsulting.ca.

As I sat down to journal this morning, I began to reflect back at how this whole retreat experience came to be. When I thought about it, I was like “Oh, my goodness, this is a perfect example of going with the flow.” I'm gonna talk a bit about this process because I think it's so important for our changemaking and leadership journeys to be able to really get clear on what we want to create and then let go and see what happens. As we begin, I'm going to read a poem. This week, I decided to search Google for a poem. And so, the one that I found is actually called The Flow. And I wasn't searching for a poem on flow, but that really then shifted this whole episode, so that's exciting to me. The screen name of the author is Melodic Matthew. So, thanks, Melodic Matthew, for this problem.

Life flows as a wave. You can paddle your board, stand up and surf, or just get tumbled and wonder what happened. Perfect moments can come to those who surf, but need to be appreciated the first time because those who tried to recreate them will forever be chasing. Resisting the flow is a constant fight. Everything is in flow, even the raft you're clinging to. Why do you wonder when you'll finally start when you've been swimming the whole time?

[0:04:53]

I like this poem. For me, it touches on the beauty of being in the flow, recognizing that you’re in it and appreciating it during the moment, understanding that it will go away. It also speaks of the struggle that happens when we resist the flow of life or become unconscious to the fact that even the things we are clinging to to keep us safe are in flow. I get this image of being face down bouncing all around on this raft, bumping into things I can't see, and then looking up and realizing I'm headed down this beautiful stream on a safety device. That feels like the difference between being aware that you're in flow and being unconscious to it. It's a totally different experience.

I want to share with you how this retreat that I just spoke of came to be in because it's a nice example of how things can emerge if you just let go. If I trace it back right to its origin, it began with an intention and a strong desire for more fun and play in my life and not doing work on my own. And I identified those needs and desires through paying attention to what was really irking me in my life. Like I would hear stories of friends going to the beach and having fun, or I would go and sit on the beach and see all these people having fun, or I would hear a story of a beautiful collaboration between colleagues and I would feel achy inside like my stomach would get all clenched up even though I should be happy seeing all of this joy.

So, I noticed that I felt this tension in my body. To me, that became a sign that I desired something or that I had an unmet need. So, I got curious. In that moment, it became clear that I wanted more fun, and play, and collaboration in my life. I recorded it in my journal and then I let it go. Not too long after that, I went to a meeting and I was drawn to this woman who happened to be Brett. I loved that what she was up to with improv and play workshops and wanted to learn more, which led to a meeting where we started to see the interconnectedness of our work and our desire for impact. That conversation ended with a knowing that collaboration would be fun and an intention to find ways to make that happen.

Now, seemingly totally separate from all of that, Linda, the photographer, interviewed me on her podcast, The Eloquent Entrepreneur. After sharing with her some of the work that I was doing and what some of the outcomes were of the work that I was doing, she shared in that episode a bit of a struggle she saw in some of her photography clients and her desire to help them step more fully into the beauty and aliveness that she saw in them. We end that interview with her talking about how my work could support her and this idea of a workshop was born.

When Linda and I eventually picked up that conversation about a month later, I had already met Brett in between. And as I was listening to Linda really explain what her dream outcomes were, Brett popped into my mind and voila. Here we are today celebrating our inaugural stepping into your essence retreat. Totally amazing. This process didn't take that long. Within a few months, I had a desire. And the desire came to fruition with both the collaboration and a whole lot of fun. Two needs that I identified for my life.

Notice that I didn't force anything to happen. So, I could have identified that desire for more play, and fun, and co-creation and then got really busy making it happen. You know, maybe I started searching online for meetup groups or laughing yoga class or scouring through my rolodex to find a person I liked to co-create something. That is one approach and I have done that before. However, in this case, all I did was follow what felt good that started with identifying what wasn't feeling so good at the start, then following the breadcrumbs. “Hmm… This person feels good. I'm gonna setup a phone call with them.” “Hmm… This workshop idea feels good. I'm gonna say yes to that.” “Oh, this person popped into my mind and that feels good. Yes to a collaboration.”

I wasted no energy trying to force things to happen. I simply let things unfold and followed the signs. When we lead from a scarcity mindset, there's not enough to go around. Therefore, I must do this thing now before everyone else does. Or from a place of not trusting that all things are working out for my highest good, we are in resistance to the flow.  

[0:10:06]

And often when we are in resistance, we show up in all sorts of strange ways. We become controlling. We become impatient or demanding. Maybe flighty or really confused about what's next or maybe we retreat. The root energy of all of that is fear, and it creates this cascade of impacts that don't feel so good for you or those around you. So, as changemakers, it's important to make it our intention to come from love as much as possible so that that is the energy that we are cascading throughout our communities and is also the energy that is coming back to us.

So, let's put this to use. How do we lead from a loving, trusting place? How do we lead from a state of flow? In this moment right now, if you have the time and you're in a safe space, identify what this area is for you. So, how we do that is we think where in my life do I feel angst right now. Maybe it's a work-related thing, a relationship, your finances, your health. When you think about this thing, you kinda cringe. Maybe it's more like an example that I gave. So, you're observing a conversation or an experience where you notice yourself feeling achy inside even though the topic seemed pretty neutral or was something that you should have been delighted about.

Maybe a friend was talking about all the weight they just lost or maybe a collaborator just scored a new long-term client. Maybe your sister just went on an amazing date or you watched a movie with a superhot sex scene and it just left you feeling pissed off. These are all the little and big ways that we can learn about what's going on for us where we can learn about our needs and our desires instead of being out of this world happy or kind of intrigued, which you really truly are deep inside. You feel this twinge of ack. So now, ask yourself, what is this feeling telling you about what you truly desire? What is this feeling telling you about what you need? And see what comes to you.

Listen. It could be a symbol, a word, a vision. Don't judge it or try to figure it out. Just stay open and curious. Some examples include I want to have a fulfilling sex life. I want to have a long term stable income or client. I wanna be in love with my body. I wanna have a loving and fulfilling relationship. These are the types of insights we can get to when we just take a moment to pause and not judge the feelings we have, but get really curious about them. So, once you identify what those needs or desires are for yourself, write them down. When you write them down, you're sending a very clear message to the universe.

And when you do that, you might instantly feel a relief. The key is to let it go. in this moment to trust that the universe has heard the message, has heard your desire, and start being open to receiving the signs. They're gonna come in all shapes and sizes. You might get a tingly sense when someone says something. You may see a word repeatedly on your social media feed. You’re like “Wow. How many people are talking about unity all of a sudden?” You might suddenly run into somebody that you haven't seen in years. You might get the same book recommendation 3 times in a week.

Listen, and observe, and stay curious. And use these cues to guide you down the stream and get excited about what is to come. This is what we call following your intuition. You might say trusting your gut. It may be your higher power talking to you. Each of us can grasp this deeper knowing in different ways, so go with whatever resonates best for you. The key here is to feel supported. You received a message that is in your best interest and that is pretty amazing. I would love to know what comes up for you when you go through this experience. So, direct message me on LinkedIn or Instagram or send an email to podcast at humconsulting.ca. I am cheering for you always to live your best life. A life that feels good regardless of what is in front of you.

[0:15:00]

It is my deep desire that what I put out supports you on that journey. Much love to you.

I'm now passing the talking piece to you. If you feel called to put your voice in the circle, please head to humconsulting.ca/podcast and share your story there. I cannot wait to hear what has come up for you as you have listened to what has been shared here today. I wish you love and joy beyond your wildest imagination. Thank you so much for being here in the Circle of Change.

I also wanna express my gratitude to the following peeps: Circle of Change is recorded on Lekwungen territories and I am so grateful to live on this land. Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E-Rol Beats. You can find his creations at erolbeats.com. And special thanks to my coach, Mary Chan, of Organized Sound Productions for bringing this podcast to life.

Until next time, Ciao!