Episode 14: The Road to Self-Actualization

In today’s circle, we are sitting with Grace Quarshie. You are going to fall in love with her story and her mission in life - to help women actualize their greatest potential.  If you have lost your job or a loved one, are leaving a difficult relationship or going through any kind of transition, you will benefit from Grace’s inspiring coaching.  

What’s in this episode for you:

• How a fall from her dream career path brought her biggest fears to life

• The three questions that transformed her life and can transform yours

• All the coaching you need to take control of your life and prepare you for your transition

• How every hardship is a launch pad toward what we were meant to be

• Why the pandemic is an opportunity for hope

• What being the change means to Grace

Poem: Richard Wagamese, from Embers

I no longer want to be resilient, I don't want to simply bounce back from things that hurt me or cause me pain. Bouncing back means returning to where I stood before. Instead, I want to go beyond the hurts and the darkness. The first step toward genuine healing from my mental illness was when I came to trust and belief that there was a beyond. Now I reach for beyond every day in every encounter, in every circumstance. I seek to go where I have never traveled. I wake with the vision of a purposeful day filled with adventures and teachings, then I take the first step and try to make it beyond.

Who’s in circle with us:

Grace Quarshie is one of the most inspirational speakers and authors in her home country Ghana. 

From a broke, jobless, and struggling young woman to a well known serial entrepreneur, speaker, and coach Grace's resilience and determination has inspired a lot of people worldwide and has helped them not to give up on themselves after losing a job to discover their uniqueness, overcome their fears and be who God has called them to be.

As an international speaker, coach, author, and CEO Grace has helped develop programs and gain huge media attention in Ghana speaking on entrepreneurship that has helped to transform young people's mindset and empowered them to go into entrepreneurship.

Today people revere Grace for her mastery of teaching people how to become victors of their setbacks and tap into their limitless potential and opportunities. Her book is called “I Kissed My Job Goodbye -  How I went from being jobless to owning a successful business and living a fulfilled life” and you can find it online. 

Connect with Grace through, www.gracequarshie.com, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Pick up the talking piece: 

What came up for you as you listened to this episode? I'd love to hear your experiences with any of the reflections and exercises. Send me an email at podcast@humconsulting.ca or leave a voicemail (click the voicemail button on the right).

Transcript: (Some words may not be accurately recorded. Please let us know if something seems off.)

Ame-Lia Tamburrini (AT): Change begins from within. As easy as it is to look outside of ourselves and want the world to change, the truth is, it never will if we remain the same. This podcast was created for change-makers like you who want more love and connection in your community. Today you are going to hear stories that will inspire you, and also challenge you to be the change. We are going to go deep, my friend, so take a deep breath and settle in. My name is Ame-Lia Tamburrini - Welcome to the Circle of Change.

Hello, friend! I'm glad you're here today. I don't know about you, but I have been seeping in transformational energy this fall. Lots of change is on the horizon, and I can feel both the uncomfortableness of it and the excitement. It's a great time for this conversation with Grace Quarshie who is joining us in circle all the way from Togo, Africa. You're gonna fall in love with her story and her mission in life to help women actualize their greatest potential. 

If you have lost your job or a loved one, are leaving a difficult relationship, or going through any kind of transition, you're going to benefit from Grace's inspiring coaching. And this really is a coaching session. So, what we're gonna talk about is how a fall from her dream career path brought her biggest fears to life, the 3 questions that transformed her life and can transform yours, all the coaching you need to take control of your life and prepare for your transition, how every hardship is a launch pad toward what we were meant to be, why the pandemic is an opportunity for hope, and what being the change means to Grace. 

Let me introduce you to her. Grace Quarshie is one of the most inspirational speakers and authors in her home country of Ghana from a broke, jobless, and struggling young woman to a well-known serial entrepreneur, speaker, and coach. Grace’s resilience and determination has inspired a lot of people worldwide and has helped them not to give up on themselves after losing a job, to discover their uniqueness, overcome their fears, and be who God has called them to be. As an international speaker, coach, author, and CEO, Grace has helped develop programs and gain huge media attention in Ghana speaking on entrepreneurship that has helped to transform young people's mindsets and empower them to go into entrepreneurship. 

Today, people revere Grace for her mastery of teaching people how to become victors of their setbacks and tap into their limitless potential and opportunities. Her book is called I Kissed My Job Goodbye: How I Went from Being Jobless to Owning a Successful Business and Living a Fulfilled Life. And you can find it online. Let's begin. 

Grace, thank you so much for being here in the Circle of Change with me and our listener. I so loved meeting here in the program that we took together and a follow-up conversation that we had where your story just so deeply inspired me. And I know it's a story that is going to have a great impact on the listener especially when it comes to, yeah, how do we actually be the change in the world. And your story just so exemplifies what is required, but also what can result when we show up in a certain way. So, I think you're just such an inspiration to me, and I'm grateful that you're here today.  

GQ: Thank you.  Thank you so much. I’m also happy to be here to share my story and to also encourage your listeners to let them know that everything is possible. I'm so happy to be there. Thank you for the invitation too.

AT: Wonderful. All right. So, as we begin, I want to read a poem. This is a moment in circle where we can just transition from wherever it is we are and really come to this present moment and take in these words. So, if you wanna close your eyes and take these in, I also encourage the listener to do that if they're in a safe space. 

This is another reading by Richard Wagamese in his book, Embers.

[0:05:03]

“I no longer want to be resilient. I don't want to simply bounce back from things that hurt me or cause me pain. Bouncing back means returning to where I stood before. Instead, I want to go beyond the hurts and the darkness. The first step toward genuine healing from my mental illness was when I came to trust and believe that there was a beyond. Now, I reach for beyond every day, in every encounter, in every circumstance. I seek to go where I have never traveled. I wake with the vision of a purposeful day filled with adventures and teachings, then I take the first step and try to make it beyond.” 

Grace Quarshie (GQ): I closed my eyes. I was enjoying it. That was so good. Yeah. I look for the beyond. 

AT: I sense it’s going to relate to and really resonate with your words and your story today.

GQ: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And in fact, you took me back, you know. And I love the part where the poem says that I don’t want to go back, but I want to go beyond. And that is so empowering for me. Yeah. Thank you, Amy, for this poem. Thank you.

AT: Thank you. Oh. So, to begin, I always start with this question. Who are you? You and I know this question well. So, you know, take this question wherever you want to go. And if you do have a talking piece, feel free to introduce it now as well, but who are you, Grace? 

GQ: Hey! Who am I? Who am I? I see myself as a path. I am the path that people can put on life, fulfillment, and self-actualization. I am a guide and a light that show up to help people see possibilities around them. I am an inspiration that inspire people not to give up on their selves no matter their setbacks or their limitation. To sum it all, when I ask myself who am I, this is the person that Grace is.

AT: Yes. Yey! Thank you so much for sharing that.

GQ: You’re welcome. 

AT: Yeah. 

GQ: Yeah. 

AT: So, you have this really powerful story of overcoming difficult circumstances to achieve great things. Can you share your story with us? How did you go from jobless and broke to where you are today? 

GQ: Wow. Thank you very much. And I'm very happy and fulfilled for what I’ve been able to achieve. And 5 years ago as a self-published author, as an international inspirational speaker, as a coach and also a serial entrepreneur, I thank God for the grace for having those achievements, but I want anyone listening to me right now on the Circle of Change to know that this was not so 5 years ago for me.

5 years ago, I woke up in the morning, wore my uniform for my office address and drove to the office. It was 10 a.m. exactly August 31st. It was a Wednesday 10 a.m. I received a phone call from my boss to come into a meeting. Prior to that, a lot of discussion has gone on in the office about a retrenchment exercise that was being carried out in the banking sector. I was in the banking sector in Africa, Ghana. When I received that phone call, I was asking myself that I hope this is not what it is. I went to the meeting and I met a panel. And I was greeted “Welcome.” As I sat down, my boss said in a voice I have never heard her spoken before

[0:10:00]

And she said, “Grace, I’m sorry. You are part of 200 people who are going to be laid off.” Immediately she said that, my heart sunk into my stomach and I started sweating even in an air-conditioned room. And as I stretch my shaking hands to pick my redundancy contract and letter, I couldn’t believe that a career I had built for the past 8 years and over has just come to an end. 

When I got up from the meeting and I walked through the door and shut the door behind him, I felt like I’ve entered a tunnel full of darkness and I’m never going to come out again. My life has come to an end. My dreams have come to an end because I have not just lost a job. I just lost my dreams. I was that lady, Amy, who at the age of 19 years, I had to run away from the house because my father was not ready to take me to the university. And I had dreams of going to the university. And I thought my only option was for me to go out on the streets and find my way to the university.

So, I left the house because my mates that I finished junior high school have already started the university. And my dad was not ready. And my dream was to go to the university, get a good grade, and get a good job. And I believe every one of us have this desire. And so, I was able to go to the university. I graduated with a good grade. And guess what? I got a job. I got a good, good job in the bank with a good salary and a very good life started for me. So amazing. A young lady. I was like “This is it. I’m not going to become an inspiration and let African women and other women know that, look, education should not stop. You don’t let anyone stop you from achieving your dreams even if your parents couldn’t take you to school. You can find your way to your dreams.”

I was so excited about this story. Now, I just lost my job, which like closed the chapter of that beautiful story I was trying to create because I was projecting myself to the corporate ladder, which I was getting close through the corporate ladder. And everything came tumbling down. I was so disappointed in myself and the thought of not good enough helped me pound and crave for because I felt I was not good enough. That was why I was laid off. How many of us have ever been held by that thought of not good enough or have been because someone told you that you can amount to nothing or because you went through an abusive relationship or an abusive situation that has devalued you? And when you look at yourself in the mirror, you think “Who is this?” You can't recognize yourself anymore. 

How many of us have been there before? Well, that was where I was 5 years ago, but it wasn't until one day out of tiredness and not eating, crying, I felt sick, I couldn't sleep. I mean I couldn't sleep. And so, I remember waking up and sitting on my bed and looking at the ceiling. I asked myself three questions and these three questions, when I was able to answer it very well sincerely and with understanding transformed my life to be who I am today. And that inspired me to create a transformation path for my life and a journey to start my own business that I didn't go and look for a job again. And what are these three questions? 

[0:14:59]

The first question was “Grace, where are you now?” I'll talk about it more in depth. The second question was “Grace, where do you want to be 3 years from what has happened to you now, 2 years from what has happened to now? Where do you want to be?” And the third question was “Grace, who do you need and what do you have to do to get to where you want to be?” Sincerely, I had to answer this question. It wasn't easy. I was crying but, I poured down my heart in a journal. The thought that I poured out, I was able to create a path for my life to get me to where I am today. 

And I use this framework or this path to help people in my coaching program to unstuck themselves from a place they are not happy with, to move to a place of fulfillment and achieving their dreams. And I do this. I help women. I empower women to find their good enoughness and their giftings that can help them transform from a setback, abuse where they are not happy into finding their good enoughness. So, basically, this is what my life has been from broken, jobless to becoming who I am today. 

AT: Thank you so much for sharing that story in such a beautiful way. You're a beautiful storyteller, Grace. 

GQ: Thank you. 

AT: Yeah. It's such a powerful story and I'm just struck right now thinking about how meaningful this is for today's situation where, you know, many countries are entering now a fourth wave of COVID and there has already been millions and millions of job losses around the world. And so, there might be somebody listening to this right now who is in that circumstance or knows somebody who is going through this circumstance where maybe they've built a business or they're in their dream job like you thought you were and then it has just been taken away from them. And so, again, I think I'm just so grateful that you have just also done the work to get to a place to tell your story and do so in a way that really makes a difference for people. So, thank you.

GQ: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you and thank you. 

AT: So, let's dive into it a little bit more. These questions are amazing. I wrote them down because I am going to use them myself. They really are. I'm curious like did they just come to you, these questions? 

GQ: Yeah.

AT: Yeah. Okay. 

GQ: Yeah and yeah. You know what? 5 years ago, when I asked myself those questions, I never knew it was a self-awareness question. And I'm going to talk about it as we get deeper, you know. And it just came to me because I wasn't happy at where I was 5 years ago. And I didn't know how I was going to come out. So, I needed a path. I needed something that can guide me so that I can dream again or get back to my dreams again. 

AT: Amazing. Yeah. So, let's talk more about that. So, what were some of the mindsets or ways of being that really supported you to step into who you were meant to be?

GQ: Yeah. I really want to give my heart out when I'm answering this question. I'm going to talk about 3 things, 3 As. The first is acceptance. The second A is awareness. And the third A is action. So, these skills and mindsets help me to get beyond after losing my job. Now, what do I mean by acceptance? When I say acceptance, I’ll talk about 2 things about acceptance. And the first thing is taking 100% responsibility of your life. Taking 100% responsibility of your life. I say this because every time I've been able to overcome a challenge and become better than what I went through, it was because I took 100% responsibility of my life. That my employer who asked me to go home, I can't depend on them. 

[0:20:00]

I can't depend on the government. I have to look within me, find what I see down there and bring it out to transform my life. Taking 100% responsibility. You have the power and the authority is in your hands. No one who have abused you, or damaged you, or say something against you has the power over your life. Whatever they did to you, they've done it to you, but you taking 100% responsibility and telling yourself that you did this to me, but you cannot do it to me. I don't know if you get what I'm saying. You did it to me, but you cannot get it into me. I, Sarah; I, Joan; I, Amy; I, Daniel; I, Maxwell, have the 100% responsibility to respond so that I can determine the outcome of whatever you have said, whatever that has happened to me. So, acceptance is you. 

And the second I will share on that, acceptance is don't blame anyone. It's not a blame game. I could have still been looking for a job after losing my job 5 years ago and say “Oh, the government.” because what happened 5 years ago was a crisis in the banking industry in my home country, Ghana, in Africa. It was a crisis. And after that, 2016; after that, 2017, 2018, even up to now and lots of banks— and people who were laid off and went on because I had a referral to another bank, but I didn't— I said I want to find myself. I want to find myself. 

And my colleagues who went to other banks, in a year or two, they were laid off again. So, stop the blame game, and find your game, and play your game because your game is the game. Your game is the game changer. That is what will change everything about your life. So, that's what I would say about [0:22:26][Inaudible] If you don't blame anyone— I could have blamed my boss, be angry with her. Why didn't she do this? Because, guess what, this was a stop. I was a worker. I had received an award a year and a half before I was laid off as a star performer in the organization. A staff performer means that you have met your target, exceeded them. So, why was I laid off? 

The next A is awareness and that was where the three questions I talked about came from. Self-awareness. Self-awareness. If you want to become a change and we are here on circle of change, why are we here sharing our story and talking? Because we have experienced change. We are the change before we can share our change with the world. If I have not changed, Amy, I don't think my story will be inspiring to you. The first, the second step is for you to self— And self-awareness is the process of you growing, evolving into your change from what has happened to you. And these three questions (why, where am I), we all have to look around ourselves. 

And when I'm coaching people, when I tell them where— and they start looking around them, I say “I'm not asking you of your current location. I am asking you of your inner compass. Where are you in your mind, in your soul, in your spirit? Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Do you think there is more in you? Have you given anyone the upper hand over your life so that what they have said has affected you? Where are you now?” And we all have our inner location. And if you are listening, you can ask yourself “Where am I now?” And you are the only person that can tell where you are. Even I cannot tell where you are in your growth, in your journey, in your mind, in your spirituality. You are the only one that can tell where you are now. And so, this is self-awareness, but the second question is— And I tell people— Anytime I'm coaching and talking, I tell people that when you identify where you are, write it down. 

[0:25:00]

You have to be sincere to yourself. Denial will not bring you change. So, write it down. I am at the place where I’m dying. I’m killing myself. I need help. I need help. I need help. Write it down. I am at a place where I have to do something so I can double my income. Other than that, I will sleep on the street. Write it down. Where am I? I'm in an abusive relationship. I'm not happy. I want to get out. Write it down. It’s your awareness that will get you out and send you to a change. The second question is where do you want to be from where you are now? Where do you want to be? Do you want to have a beautiful family? You want to be healthy? Do you want to have more money? And that was when I was asking myself where do I want to be. And I said I still want to be an inspiration. 

Well, you just lost your job. How can you become an inspiration? And then I said, “Okay. If I still want to become an inspiration, let me work on myself so that I can share the story. I will share the story with no shame that I lost my job and I've been able to start this, and this, and that.” That's when I decided I want to be an inspiration. And I remember that this question “where do I want to be”, when I was able to write it down, I got clarity of who I am. And that was when I started seeing all the good things in me. Remember, the job I lost made me feel I was not good enough. And when I said I wanted to be an inspirational speaker, I wanted to inspire women. That was when I saw the giftings in me. That was when I decided I want to start my own business and build it. I want to become [0:26:58][Inaudible] I want to do this. And that has brought me to this place. Write it down because it will give you clarity to get to your change. Where are you now? 

The third question and the awareness is what you have to do and who do you need because whenever you decide to go on a journey, don't ever go alone. Get someone with you. What do I have to do and who do I need? That was when I said I needed to learn new skills. I need to polish my giftings, my talent, my passion. And I needed to do self-development. So, I started taking courses, coaching programs. And early, that was how come I even met you on our program because when I asked myself those questions, [0:27:49][Inaudible] self because of [0:27:51][Inaudible] because where I am now, I sit at just the beginning. I want to get to beyond. That is where I want to get to. Beyond. 

And so, I started working and I realized I needed people. I needed people to get to where I want to get to. When you ask yourself where are you now, sometimes all you need is help. Ask for help. It is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength for asking for help. So, ask for help. When you needed help, ask for it and people are ready to give you in a form of coaching, in a form of mentoring, in a form of accountability coach and partners. And that was what I went for. And I started working on myself. Currently, I have a whole set of new friends including you, my friend, Ame-Lia. I have a new set of friends and that has inspired me a lot to do what I'm doing now. 

The last I'll talk about is action. Action. And any time I talk about action, I feel the energy and I become so passionate because after you accept and you’re self-aware and you don't take the action, you are not going to experience your change. Change comes when you take the steps to do the action or to do the work. And so, this is where the actions have to go [0:29:18][Inaudible] your dreams, your desires. And when I talk about action, I talk about fear because sometimes when you are taking those actions, you'll be afraid. And you need to take— I say that take a step of fear. Take a step of fear. Never be afraid. Even when you are afraid, take a step of fear towards your change because the world is not going to be clapping for you when you are taking those steps. They will not be there to cheer you up, but you have to take the steps because, once again, you have to take 100% responsibility to experience your change. 

[0:30:01]

Take action, set goals, get a coach, and do whatever they have told you to do. Implement and move. Even when you find yourself discouraged, keep on going because, hey, what is beyond is so beautiful and I don't think you want to bounce back to where you came back from.

AT: Wow. I just wanna be like hallelujah! Like that was powerful. 

GQ: Yeah. Thank you, Amy. Thank you, Amy. 

AT: Oh, goodness. 

GQ: Thank you. 

AT: Yes. Yes. Thanks for being so generous with your model and really taking us through it and also how you, yourself, used it to transform yourself. I think this is like a coaching session here. And I know that so many people are going to benefit from this. I know I am already benefiting from our conversation. 

GQ: Thank you. I’m happy. I’m happy. That's my goal and that's my mission. I'm happy. Thank you. 

AT: Yes. Yes. Yes. And that's just so clear. I think that's what I want to talk about next because you are so clearly passionate about this, about helping people turn difficult situations into these limitless possibilities and opportunities so that they can get beyond. And some people might have just listened to what you said and been like “Okay. Yeah.” But gosh, that sounds hard. That sounds hard to do all this. So, why is it important? Why is this work important that we all do this? 

GQ: Wow. The reason why I decided to do this because I believe, as I said, that I am an inspiration that will inspire people to see possibility around them. This is so important. And I'm using my gift and my passion to let people know that they can find their change and they can experience their transformation no matter what happened to them. It is so important because whatever you have been through, most of the time, we see setbacks as the end of the chapter in our lives. And Amy, I was amazed when you were reading that point because whatever we go through is just the beginning of what is beyond. And we have to go and set for it. 

So, whatever you have been through, the relationship, the setback, the loss, someone told you words that has devalued you, that is not the end of your life. There is a beyond. There is a beautiful place that you have to search and search and get there. And I believe we've heard of so many stories, including mine, of people that have been through setbacks, but when they were able to overcome, they were stronger, powerful, impactful, and became better than their setbacks. So, this should let you know that setback should not stop you, but setback should be like a launch pad into your beyond. And I always tell people that “Look, losing a job is not the end of your life, but rather the beginning of a life that you have always been dreaming of.” And so, you have to experience that life. 

And I want you to know that experiencing your change or coming out of whatever has happened to you, COVID has happened, you've lost a business, you've lost marriage, you've lost a loved one, and so many other things, loss could be your inspiration that will make you an inspiration to other people. And this will create a life that you always have been dreaming of. At the end of the day, what is the true desire of every human being on this earth? What is our desire? It’s to experience the true entire version of ourselves, is to become the best, is to self-actualize us. And most of the time, what we have been through is a launch pad catapulting us into our true self and to whom we're really born to be and into who we are supposed to be to the world. 

[0:35:10]

So, it is important that you rise up from wherever you are because there is a beyond. There is a beyond that you have to embrace, and it's a beautiful place. It's a place of power. It's a place of inspiration. And I'm always grateful. Every day, I thank God that I lost that job because I don't know how would I have met you, Amy. I don't know how I would have impacted people through my book. My book, I Kissed My Job Goodbye: How I Went from Being Jobless to Owning a Successful Business and Living a Fulfilled Life, is on Amazon. You can get it. I don't know how I would have come up with the book if I have not gone through that painful and disappointing job loss. So, there is a beyond. That is why you have to overcome the setback. 

AT: Beautiful. Yes. Yes. I mean I can so relate to that in my own personal journey of, well, lots of up and downs. I think it started before cancer. But you know, for me, cancer really was that turning point where I could have sort of just thrown in the towel and become a victim of that experience. And that was never in the cards for me. For whatever reason, I knew that that was an opportunity for me to go deeper to heal in a way that I hadn't before and to step further into who I was meant to be on this earth. Like I really felt it was a gift that I had somehow asked for to launch me into this life that I now lead. And so, I can 100% relate to the story. 

I also think that there's something bigger than just even ourselves going through this transformation. Yes, it’s like life feels so much more rich. But if we all do this, that's like raising the vibration of the world, which really launches us globally to a new place just so that we stop recreating all the hurt and trauma that we have over centuries. And we get ourselves to this world that is more peaceful, more loving, more connected, and really grounded in earth and these principles that are here to support us, which I feel like we've moved so far away from over the past number of years. I don’t know. Like I feel like it's all part of that. I'm curious if do you share that belief or is that— Yeah.

GQ: Yeah. I also believe it, you know. I also believe it. If many of us are able to survive this pandemic, guess what the world is going to be like. If all of us are able to come out and see our beyond, whatever we have been through as a world, do you think there will be any place for another conflict to come again or another virus or whatever should come again? No. Because there'll be so much inspiration. There'll be so much hope. There’ll be so much hope that people will find it difficult to give up. Wherever you are listening or from wherever you are hearing us from, don't give up because if we all stand and stay through, there’ll be so much hope for the next generation, for our children and for other parts of the world not to give up. We are all agents of change. 

AT: So true. Yes. Thank you. And I know whoever needed to hear that message is taking it in right now. And it's such an important one because I know that when things are dark and it's so hard to see the light sometimes, it's so hard to not give up because your view is covered, we can't see beyond it. I do love this word “beyond” that was gifted to us from Richard in this poem. So, yeah, I appreciate those words of encouragement. 

GQ: Thank you. 

AT: So, I'd like to close the circle with a question. But before we get there, I really want people to understand how they can learn more about you and your journey and maybe experience some of your coaching programs. 

[0:40:00]

We are gonna post all of your websites and social media tags in the show notes, but how can people best connect with you? 

GQ: First of all, my book is on Amazon. I Kissed My Job Goodbye: How I Went from Being Jobless to Owning a Successful Business and Living a Fulfilled Life. So, you can get my book on Amazon. And anyone who wants to start a new life again, this is your manual. And you want to look at other options, entrepreneurship or finding your giftings, to fulfill your dreams. This is your manual. It will help you I shared in-depth experience of my life journey and how I was able to become who I am today and living the life I'm living now. My website is www.gracequarshie.com. You can follow me on my social media handles. Facebook, Grace Quarshie. Instagram, Grace Quarshie. I’m on LinkedIn, Grace Quarshie. And also, you can reach out to me through e-mail,  gracequarshie91@gmail.com. I believe when the podcast goes out, most of the information will be out. So, you can reach out to me. I don't bite I am very friendly, and I love to help people also experience their change. 

I have a good coaching session. I have a one-on-one coaching session. And my one-on-one coaching session, it is a transformation springboard that will catapult you into your desires, your destiny, and your dreams. So, if you are listening today, you want to take part, you can send me an e-mail on gracequarshie91@gmail.com. I believe the details of my name will be on the podcast here and all that, gracequarshie91@gmail.com. You can equally send me a DM on any of the social media handles too, and I will respond to you. 

AT: Wonderful. Wonderful. I love that. I love that you said you don't bite. When you were talking, I wrote down graceful warrior. I love that your name is Grace first of all. But graceful warrior was a name that I took on for myself during one of my first transformational coaching programs that I did, and it was a name that came to me as sort of like my higher self. That person I want to live into. But when I was listening to you speak, I was like “Oh, Grace is a graceful warrior.” You have this strength.

GQ: I love that name.

AT: Yes. You can adopt it if you want, but it's like you have such a strength, but there is this loving presence as well that makes me want to just jump in and do this difficult work alongside you. So, yes. 

GQ: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You are so right. Thank you, Amy. I love the name, graceful warrior. I've written it down. 

AT: Okay. Perfect. 

GQ: Yeah. I have to adopt it.

AT: All right. Well, to end, I want to ask you the question, what does be the change mean to you? This podcast is really all about supporting all of us to be the change in whatever way that means. And it means different things to different people. So, I'm curious. What does be the change mean to you, Grace? 

GQ: Well, I think I've already said this to my introductory message, but I would say that be the change means taking 100% responsibility for your life and also change yourself first before you can change the world. So, you know, when I started my personal development journey, I never knew that it was going to be about changing myself a bit until when I started doing the work. And I realized I had to drop so many things and re-learn again. And that was when I started doing that, working on myself, chopping all the bad stuff out and working on my mindset and all that, that was when I started having compassion to share my story more to encourage people to help other people. So, I believe that you have to be the change first before you can change the world. And that means by taking 100% responsibility for whatever happens to you. 

[0:45:01]

If it's going to be, tell yourself it's going to be me before it can be the world. 

AT: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. It's a powerful message, and I hope people are able to really take that in. This journey of responsibility is I think off-putting for many people. And the way in which you've spoken of it today and the possibility that picture that you've painted for us, it just certainly makes me want to step in further and take even more responsibility for how it is I show up because there really is so much beauty on the other side. 

GQ: Yeah. And I think one thing now— I think I mentioned ask for help when you need help. You see, I'm here because I was able to work on my weakness and my low moments. I'm here because I was able to cry. You know, I tell people that I remember when I lost my job, I come out of my bedroom, come and sleep in the living room. And I sit in the floor. I'm an African girl. And when I sit on the floor, hah, that's danger. I sit on the floor and I cry. So, taking 100% responsibility of yourself, it means that you will go through that low moment. You will cry. You will feel like you want to go mad. It will be very painful, but you will not let that pain be a forever piece, you know. In one of my coaching with people who have lost their jobs, I have a whole session dedicated to mourning. Let's cry over this. Let's weep over this. Let's shed all the pain out. Because if we don't heal completely, we will not be able to move on to our next level. So, I thought I will just drop this in so that, you know, “I’m not a [0:46:59][Inaudible] I have cried before. I have experienced pain.” I have cried. I cried like a baby, a baby. It was so painful. So, taking 100%, identifying your weakness and holding on to it, not forever, but in that moment of time so that you can feel from it and move on to your next level. I thought I just dropped that in. 

AT: Yes. I’m so glad you did because it is so many of us have become scared of certain emotions and that deep sadness, that deep grief, the anger even that comes up is scary. And I think there's lots of messaging out there too to say especially for women “Oh, no, that's not appropriate” or we cry too much or whatever the case is, but really getting beyond that and allowing ourselves to feel the pain, to feel scared, to feel sadness and let those emotions flow through us so that we can get to this beautiful beyond that is waiting for us. So, thank you for giving us permission to do that and also just helping us get really real about what this journey is all about. There's no getting to the beautiful side without going through that I think. 

GQ: Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Ooh, thank you so much.

AT: Yes. Thank you so much, Grace Quarshie. Thank you for joining us all the way from Togo as well. I love that this circle can extend over the seas and include you. So, much love to you. 

GQ: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

Gratitude: 

Circle of Change is recorded on lək̓ʷəŋən territories.

Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E-Rol Beats. You can find his creations at www.erolbeats.com

My fabulous podcast coach, Mary Chan of Organized Sound Productions, brought this podcast to life www.organizedsound.ca