Episode 9: Overcoming our Addictions
In today’s circle we are sitting with Joi Ross, the author of How to Break the Cycle of Temptation, Addiction and Guilt from the Inside-out - A Path to Freedom, Fulfilment and Purpose. This enlightening conversation will have you wanting to shine light on all your unhealthy patterns!
What’s in this episode for you:
9:00 - A positive way to frame addiction that will make you want to take a bite
23:00 - The role of intuition in healing
35:30 - The 3 core steps that lead to freedom
48:00 - Inspiring and practical ways to be the change
Poem: Recovery, by K.L:
Don't feel disillusioned by where you are now. Your progress is good enough. It's meaningful. It's on time. Though everything may go unacknowledged, every silent step is movement in the right direction. When it feels as though everyone is going forward and you're being pulled back by your own demons or your past, remember that every moment in this journey will play its part in the greater narrative. What a beautiful story to share one day written just by living your life.
Who’s in circle with us:
Joi Ross is more than wit and humor. She is an author, trainer, coach, consultant and CEO of Joi Ross Consulting. Her focus is helping others to identify and tap into their spiritual power, achieve abundance and freedom, and identify and remove limiting beliefs and mindsets that too often hold us back from fulfilling the dreams and visions we were created to achieve. Joi also founded and remains CEO of APEX Direct, a consulting firm focused on communications, training, and public outreach.
Connect with Joi through, www.joiross.com, www.freedomjoiross.com, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
Pick up the talking piece:
What came up for you as you listened to this episode? I'd love to hear your experiences with any of the reflections and exercises. Send me an email at podcast@humconsulting.ca or leave a voicemail (click the voicemail button on the right).
Gratitude:
Circle of Change is recorded on lək̓ʷəŋən territories.
Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E-Rol Beats. You can find his creations at www.erolbeats.com
My fabulous podcast coach, Mary Chan of Organized Sound Productions, brought this podcast to life www.organizedsound.ca
Transcript: (Some words may not be accurately recorded. Please let us know if something seems off.)
Change begins from within. As easy as it is to look outside of ourselves and want the world to change, the truth is, it never will if we remain the same. This podcast was created for change-makers like you who want more love and connection in your community. Today you are going to hear stories that will inspire you, and also challenge you to be the change. We are going to go deep, my friend, so take a deep breath and settle in. My name is Ame-Lia Tamburrini - Welcome to the Circle of Change.
Ame-Lia Tamburrini (AT) Hello, hello! Today, in Circle, we are sitting with Joi, Ross, the author of How to Break the Cycle of Temptation, Addiction and Guilt from the Inside-Out: A Path to Freedom, Fulfillment and Purpose. Joi Ross is a business owner, bestselling author, communications consultant, and trainer. As the CEO of Joi Ross Consulting, her focus is on helping others to identify and tap into their spiritual power, achieving abundance and freedom, and identifying and removing limited beliefs and mindsets that too often hold us back from fulfilling the dreams and visions we were created to achieve. Joi also founded and remains the CEO of APEX Direct, a consulting firm focused on communications, training, and public outreach. No matter which hat she's wearing or which way she chooses to serve, Joi Ross is a burning torch and a thought leader who effortlessly and resiliently ignites the soul. This is so true and you are going to experience that in our conversation.
In this circle, we cover an inclusive way to frame addiction to make it actually quite enticing and palatable. She uncovers what is possible when we accept the invitation that our addictions provide us, how to build our ability to follow our intuition. She talks about the 3 core steps that shift us from temptation, addiction, and guilt to freedom. And she drops some inspiring and practical ways to be the change.
Joi has such a positive way to speak about this challenging topic. And because of that, it's easy to shift your perspective and make you wanna get curious about addictions or unhealthy patterns in your life. All of Joi’s work embodies changing the world from within. And so, I am delighted to bring you this conversation. Enjoy!
[3:00]
Joi, welcome to the Circle of Change.
Joi Ross (JR): Thank you for having me.
AT: Oh, yeah. You’re so welcome. I am so delighted to have you here. We connected through a mutual coach. And I can so clearly remember the moments when I was introduced to you. You were invited to share and when your square lit up and you started to speak, I thought “Oh, yeah, I want to get to know this person. She is deep, and beautiful, and brave, and so full of inspired possibility.” That's really what I felt from you. And now, we are here.
JR: I love that. I love that. And I have to say when I first heard your voice, listening to one of your podcasts and I shared this with you, I just felt like “Oh, my gosh, this woman, like her voice (your voice) just drew me in.” It was so warm and like a sheath of warm comforter, like fresh baked cookies. Just yummy and delicious. And I felt just that your energy was so positive and loving. And I got super excited. I’m like “Oh, I hope that I get to meet her.” So, I’m so glad that we’re here.
AT: Me too. Me too.
JR: I love that delicious description. Thank you. Oh, great. So, here we are. To get us settled in, I'm gonna start us off with a poem and then I’d love to, yeah, just throw some questions out there into circle and have us explore. So, this poem is called recovery. And for those of you who are listening and Joi, yourself, as well, feel free to just close your eyes if you want or take a deep breath and get centered here in this space, in this present moment.
[5:00]
So, this is Recovery and it's by initials K.L. Don't feel disillusioned by where you are now. Your progress is good enough. It's meaningful. It's on time. Though everything may go unacknowledged, every silent step is movement in the right direction. When it feels as though everyone is going forward and you're being pulled back by your own demons or your past, remember that every moment in this journey will play its part in the greater narrative. What a beautiful story to share one day written just by living your life.
So, the question that I’d loved to start with is a question that we know well and that’s “Who are you?” It’s just a way for people to get to know you more, to explore outside of your bio and, yeah, just invite you to share what you feel called to share. So, who are you, Joi?
JR: I love that question. I am— I’m just gonna say what comes up. I am grateful. I am a woman whose life has been transformed. I am a lover of God. I’m a lover of people. I am committed to excellence. I’m a perpetual learner. I’m highly curious. I am fascinated with humans, and our behavior, and why we do the things that we do. I am passionate about so many things. I’m a business owner. I am a youngest to my earthly parents. I’m a daughter of God. I’m Joi.
AT: I love that. Oh, and I can relate to so many pieces in there, especially the curiosity about humans, and how we are, and why we do the things that we do. All those stories.
JR: Yeah. Fascinated with human behavior. I always have been as far as I can remember.
AT: I want to know more about your work in the world and this book that you published. And the title, I just love it. It's How to Break the Cycle of Temptation, Addiction, and Guilt from the Inside Out: A Pathway to Freedom, Fulfilment and Purpose. Yes. Oh, my gosh, that sounds amazing. There’s so much about this title that is intriguing. There's a lot packed in there.
I'm curious about so much including, well, the connection between temptation, addiction, and guilt. But this word “addiction” really sticks out for me. I think it's because that has played such a prominent role in my own life, in my family of origin, as well as my own curiosity and diving into that relationship myself in my life and making certain decisions around that. It's also a word in my experience that is triggering for a lot of people and can really shutdown conversation or bring up judgments of our self and other people.
And so, I'm curious. Based on what you know, your life experiences, your wisdom, what does addiction mean to you?
JR: I love that question. So, for me, I've always been curious about addiction and I should say I’ve never initially set out to write a book on this topic or any other topic for that matter. So, this book is the result of what I call divine download or a series of divine downloads that I started receiving a couple years back where I just felt like I started getting these instructions that I needed to share with the whole world, my personal journey, and the revelation that I have gotten on what addiction is and sort of how we find ourselves in that situation or in— as I also discuss the book— in this sort of cycles or patterns of behavior that we really don't want to be doing, but we find ourselves doing them.
[10:12]
And we can sometimes find ourselves feeling stuck and wondering everything from whose life am I living to how did I get here or how is this happening to me. All those questions were questions that I found myself asking at different periods in my life. And in my family, there is a lot of addiction. So, I’ve had a lot of uncles, aunts, cousins who have struggled and I always just was curious about it, you know.
But to me, I agree with you that that word “addiction” is one that can be triggering. It’s one also that I think sometimes we either feel uncomfortable about when we hear it or we can automatically mentally opt out and just say, “Oh, that doesn’t apply to me. So, I’m gonna tune out.” But what addiction is to me is it’s a fruit. It is a consequence. It is a result of things that often are stirring on the inside whether it’s in our minds, so from a psychological perspective.
It’s connected to a way of thinking. It’s a connected to often emotions that are stirring around inside of us that then we respond to outwardly by, you know, doing some behavior. And then that behavior gives us a temporary feeling of satisfaction, although that feeling is temporary and somewhat deceptive, but we like it. And so, we go back and do that thing again.
Whatever it is and it's not necessarily those “big addiction” that people might think of like drugs, alcohol, although it certainly includes that, but they can also include behaviours that become addictions like cycles of bad or destructive relationship, or unhealthy relationships with food, or spending habits that begin to spin out of control. To me, it's that. It’s a fruit. It’s an external sort of sign and signal that something on a very deep level is happening within a person and that is addiction is the result of that. The addition is never the thing.
AT: Well, I love the analogy of the fruit. I just have this picture in my head of a tree with this apple hanging there, which is the outward thing that we see, but that apple is attached to the tree and then of course the trunk that goes into it and the roots that go into the earth. And so, it really feels like it is an offering. It’s an opportunity to uncover maybe the— well, not only what’s happening for us and why all these things are showing up, but to really uncover our true authentic selves if we can see it in that way. That just makes it so much more enticing and palatable for— not play off of pun there, but it does feel like that’s an invitation to step in and get really curious if we notice these patterns in our lives.
JR: Absolutely. And that's pretty much the tone and the context that I present in the book. You know, it’s really offering people another perspective on what addiction really is, the fact that most human beings if we are in tune with ourselves, if we’re honest with ourselves, that most of us have a tendency or a goal towards something or a series of things that can become addiction, so it’s not this stigma, you know, this something that happens to people when they’re weak, right, or when they’re not strong enough or any of those things, it’s something that evolves and starts on the inside, bubbles up, and expresses itself in the outside.
[15:29]
AT: Yeah. I love that. For me, I can personally relate to certainly how I have used alcohol in the past and how that has served me and then also, yeah, this pattern of unhealthy relationships especially intimate partner and how I show up in those relationships. So, that really strikes a chord and I think it will with the listener as well. It’s just really broadening this perspective of what addiction is and all the pieces and how it shows up. So, I know your book gets into the pathway to freedom, but sometimes—
Well, no. For me, what I have learned is that it has been important for me to have the vision in mind before I step into the how-to and the do it because it's when the going gets tough or when I feel like I'm getting stuck is that vision that pulls me forward. And I think that relates to my own personal development journey, my professional development journey. Having hard conversations is the vision that keeps me going. And so, I'm curious what is possible for us if we embrace our addictions, if we embrace this way that you are conceptualizing.
JR: I love that question and it sort of connects with something you touched on when you hit on the word “identity” or going inward. And what’s possible I believe is that we awaken to a deeper understanding of who we really are on the inside as humans because we’re not what we do. We’re not actions and behavior. So, I think one thing that I’m hoping results from people reading a book is that it sparks something in them that causes them to get more curious about going on a journey to discover who they really are, who God created them to be. The possibility that there is something bigger than us, you know, to expand our minds to being aware you are in your spiritual beliefs, your spiritual journey.
So, for some, I’m hoping to just spark some curiosity that causes them to say, “Hmm… Maybe there is something outside of us. Maybe there is a power greater than me that created me. Maybe there are things in me that I haven’t even tapped into or discovered yet.” And I’m hoping that it causes that deeper introspective look inward to say who am I, you know. Kind of like your first question. Who are you? I think that’s a question that is a beautiful one for us to ask because if we take that journey, we can discover some really awesome things in that we do have this power source on the inside that’s capable of allowing us to overcome anything that we are never victims, that we are never trapped forever, that we’re never stuck forever because we always have that power within us.
And our mission, if you will, right, our quest, the challenge that we’re presented with is to say yes to discovering that, to studying and learning about that. So, I’m hoping that the book will do that. It will spark people to really want to discover their true identity, what the power is, how to tap into it because I believe my experience has been once you take that journey and once you start— It’s a delicious journey first of all. And once you start uncovering things, the more you begin to know as you pull back the layers.
[20:01]
It’s like the more you wanna know. It’s like “Oh, my gosh, there’s such good stuff in there and you just wanna learn more and more.” And I believe you can spend a life time on that journey and not even fully understand how powerful we are, but it’s one we’re taking. And it’s also one that I am hoping will lead people to really uncover intuition. We all have experienced having that little— whatever you wanna call it— you know, gut feel or that little voice that sometimes wants to guide us in a certain direction.
And sometimes we ignore that voice. It’s like the more we shut it up and the more we quiet it, we can get to a point where we no longer hear it. Not because it’s not speaking, but because our ears have become dull, but I’m hoping that people will want to really get connected with that because that will cause true transformation from inside out, and it’s a beautiful thing to discover. It’s so empowering and it’s life changing. So, I’m hoping that that’s what comes out of it.
I do talk in the book also about the power of mindset. That also is something that I think is universal. So, again, regardless of spiritual belief, spiritual practices, whether a person is spiritual at all, there's so much literature in science, psychology, also in spirituality in multiple regions. I use that word and sort of do air quotes in my mind because I'm not big on religion, but there is definitely something to the power of our thoughts.
And in addiction research in particular, there’s heavy research that has shown when looking at groups of people and those who are able to break free of cycles, or patterns, or addictive behaviours and those who struggle, one of the differences is having a growth mindset. So, I introduced that concept and I'm hoping that people will become curious to study the power of their own minds, to study “hey, what is a growth mindset, how do I develop that” and then just play around with it like play it. You know, do your own test and “Hey, let me see if this works.” So, that's what I'm hoping.
AT: That is a beautiful picture and it feels, well, transformative. It comes to mind not only for the specific issue at hand, but it just seems like once we step into this journey, everything will start to shift. Relationships, work opportunities, what we do in life, our self-perception, all of these things.
There’s a couple things that really struck me when you spoke. And the first one was the tapping into our intuition and really honing that relationship. That sticks out for me because when I started my spiritual journey, my deepening of knowing myself, the question that came to me that instigated it was how do I trust myself intuition because I felt like I was flopping all over the place and I sort of knew what— I had that gut feeling that you spoke of, but I continued to ignore it, ignore it. And it was causing a lot of pain in my life and the life of others.
And then what cropped up on Google, literally that was the first bread crumb, and I just started following those bread crumbs, continuing to hone this ability to hear my intuition and follow it, which takes courage. It takes trust. It takes experience. It’s a muscle I think. The more we work it out, the easier it gets and the more fun it gets. I love that you brought in that aspect of joy, but this doesn't have to be a really treacherous, painful experience. It’s both and. There's parts that are going to be painful I think. And we can do that with joy and liberation.
JR: Absolutely. I'm so glad that you touched on that like how do you trust your intuition because I think there's a definite connection between discovering and testing.
[25:04]
And I agree with you. It’s almost like a muscle that has to be developed. Right? And it can be fun and it’s been that for me. So, I think that’s why I describe it that way because it does become fun to sort of just test it out and say, “Okay.” Like for me, I’ve started discovering it, the more I just surrender, really is what it is. Surrender to that internal voice. That’s not an easy thing to do ‘cause it requires getting out of your head especially for a person like me who's really into analyzing everything and wanting to know and I can go down a rabbit hole intellectually.
So, it does require training yourself, to sort of quiet your mind and let your intuitive voice be the loudest one and turn that volume up and turn off the other volumes down. When we do that, when we test it out, what starts to happen is it does start to build our confidence. So, I think there's a definite connection there as well even in terms of like the whole pathway to freedom. Fine tuning our ability to intuitively hear and trust that voice over time builds confidence in our ability to make decisions when we're in those triggering situations or those challenging situations that maybe in the past would have caused you to take a step back toward that destructive behaviour.
But once you're more in tune with your own voice and you have greater confidence in how to navigate, it starts to become easier to make different choices in those situations. It makes it easier to say no to certain things. And it makes it easier to say yes to you and the vision that you have for your future. Yes to that person like the true you and no to that other you ‘cause I think there’s two versions of all of us. Right?
There’s the real us and then there’s that other us that sometimes wants to just run off and do crazy things. It like sometimes I find myself like “Okay. Ooh, she's trying to take over. I have to tell her to sit down and say yes to that other true me, that me that I see that’s my future self, that me that I see that my real deep down on the inside self.”
AT: Yes. I love that. I feel like it’s easy to get distracted and pulled away from our true selves. There’s so many messages out there telling us how we should be, how we should show up, what we should do. And I think that starts from a really young age. And as you’re speaking, I keep thinking “Well, it feels like the life journey is this uncovering of who we are.” So, you're curious about people and how we show up and why we show up. Where does that come from? At what point in life do we stop listening to our intuition? Have you thought about that in terms of why is that the case that we step so fully outside of this and then it seems like we use the rest of our life to find our way back?
JR: That’s such a yummy, yummy question. I love your questions. I have thought a lot about it, and I've spent a lot of time on my own— I spent a lot of time in therapy. I spent a lot of time more recently in rapid transformational therapy, and hypnosis, and deep meditation like sort of regressing back because I'm curious about all of that. And the picture that I see is I think we were born— We come into the world a clean slate. We come into the world, first of all, really believing that there’s abundance because we come into the world saying, “I’m hungry. I’m gonna cry. Oh, when I cry, somebody feeds me. You know, when I do this, somebody cares for me.” So, we don’t have any preconceived notions of lack. We don't have any preconceived notions that we're doing something wrong.
[30:02]
And I think there are many things that come into play. You know, obviously, some have to do with our immediate environment and what’s happening in our household. And I believe parents do the best that they can. But the reality is because no human being is perfect, there's no such thing as parents even being capable of raising a child in a perfect or ideal environment. So, some of it is due to our parents’ really lack of knowing that everything that they say affects us, due to their lack of knowing that everything in the environment that we’re exposed to affect us. Right? And then we go to school.
When school starts, we're sort of groomed by society really, so through all of those needs. Our immediate environment, school. And then as we get older, that circle broadens, right? So then, it becomes those things, plus our circle of friends, plus what we’re exposed to in the media. And all of society especially in America in the capitalistic, you know, westernized culture that we're in is setup presenting these things that we should be. It kind of forces us in a certain track, right, because that’s society’s way of making sense of everything because nobody— We actually do have the bandwidth mentally, but it will be exhausting for us to try to see and process each individual for who they really are.
So then, we wanna put people in categories. We wanna tell people “Okay, here’s your track. Okay, if you're a woman, then yeah. Be concerned about your appearance or you look a certain way. Get an education. Do this. Do that. If you’re a man, okay, so then go out on this track.” I think all of those external expectations put us in a situation where our ears become sensitive to those external voices because of being told that what we were doing was wrong or bad.
So, like for me, being that little kid in school where I would always come home with report cards that were generally good, but there were those comment “oh, Joi talks too much”, “you know, she talks too much in school”, right, so those kind of things can make you start to turn down your own identity sort of. Or I was highly curious and thank God my parents saw that and they nurtured that, but there were certainly environments around other adults who were offended or irritated by my curiosity. Right? And then over time through our actions, we can start to dull that voice.
So like for me, a big part of it was like the flipside of my curiosity. Right? I did things that became addictions. It started as simple curiosity. What would it be like if I tried that? I just like intellectually wanted to know what is anything else. It was me like exploring even there was that little voice that said, “Hey, you know, your parents told you that that’s bad for you or you know that that’s probably not a good idea.” It was a form of rebellion in a sense. Right?
And for me, being strongly independent, overriding that voice often was me exerting my freedom, my independence. That part of me that says, “Oh, nobody’s gonna tell me what to do.” So, I think it's probably different for each person. But again, we reach a point where we've done so much of that. We’ve overridden that voice so many times that it gets easier and easier to override it.
But like I said, it's always there. So, it’s not like it stops talking. And that’s why to your point, I think it’s so easy when we reach a certain point in adulthood that we can go back and rediscover that voice because it is always there. We just stopped listening.
AT: Uh-huh. And I would love to just launch from right where you ended there in terms of, okay, so now, we've reached this point in our life where maybe there's an awakening.
[35:01]
For a lot of people, I think it’s this really painful moment that they experience and they're like “Wait a second, I'm repeating a pattern or I feel like there has to be something more to life than this.” So many questions that crop up. And so, okay, we have that realization, then what? What is our pathway to freedom essentially?
JR: I can answer that this way and I explained this in the book because it is not my intent and it’s not my desire to present myself to be anything other than what I am. So, on this topic, I’m not an expert necessarily. I’m not a behavioral scientist. I’m not a theologian or spiritual guru. Right? What I am is somebody who has experienced deep spiritual transformation. What I am is somebody who has been given a lot of downloads and revelation, things that I could never have known on my own that came from outside of me.
And so, from all of those perspectives, I think that the pathway, if I had to like lay it out in a series of steps, I would say I would go back to step 1, involves surrendering. There's a chapter in my book called stop trying to stop. So, I think that's definitely step 1, is surrendering, which requires a certain level of humility, a certain level of getting to a point where you understand that it's okay that certain things are just outside of your human ability. So, surrender, #1.
Number 2 would be to ask for help. For me, being a believer in God, what that looks like for me was praying. Literally crying out when I was at the end of my rope, when I had done everything that I knew to do and it still wasn't working. I'm still stuck. I’m still in these addictions and I had many. So, crying out and asking for help from a power greater than my own and then really from there being open to exploring spiritual identity because that's where in that third step of taking that spiritual exploration is where all those other things will begin to awaken within you like the fact that you— The things that I said before. That you do have power. That there is this intuition, whatever you thought it was your whole life that actually was more significant than we knew. I think those things will begin to reveal themselves to us when we put ourselves in a position to see the answers.
So, those are the main. That’s like the core. And then I think depending on where each person is because we’re all unique, the journey— Each person’s journey will begin to take form and take on a shape of its own that leads them to where they need to be and ultimately a place of freedom, but it certainly starts with those key steps that I firmly believe that.
AT: I love the steps that you outlined. I feel that that messaging resonates a lot with my own journey. And I just wanna say that there might be a listener out there that is thinking “Well, I’m not religious. I’m not spiritual.” And there’s a resistance to that. I can relate to that. I mean I grew up both my parents had very strong opinions about church and religion because of their own experiences. And so, in that environment, I didn't have much respect for religion. And then growing up, my father, he was very spiritual man like deeply connected. But because of our tumultuous relationship, I really rejected his spirituality and used it—
[40:03]
I thought he used that as an excuse for not showing up in my life. And yet, still, I got to this point in my life where there was no other option, but to ask for help, rely on something greater than myself. And that has shifted everything. It shifted my perspective of my father's journey, and religion, and of so many things. And it has allowed me to open up to this beauty in life and allowed me to do my healing work, which is a continuous journey, and explore the deep connection and empowerment that you speak of.
I'm curious if you have any comments on that in terms of anybody that is listening right now that might just have some resistance to those first 3 steps because of their own life experiences with religion or spirituality.
JR: I love that you ask me that because I absolutely do. I frame the book in the intro sort of explaining— and thank you for giving me the opportunity to do that here— that although clearly because of my own personal transformative experience of that, I am a believer in him. I do consider myself to be a Christian at the same time. I’ve had my own personal journey not too unsimilar to yours where I grew up in a very sort of religious environment with my father being a pastor.
And so, I’ve always I think believed in God, but there were a lot of things about religion that never sat well with me on the inside even as a little kid. And I couldn’t explain it. I didn't understand it. I just knew that there were things that just seemed odd that I didn't really want any part of. And so, my personal journey included going through a phase where I sort of said no to religion. I never really rejected God because I always remember hearing that little voice that I always associated with them, but I definitely rejected religion and then went on my own path to discover spirituality.
And that's where I am now. I embrace relationship with God. And what I would say to the people out there who maybe don't believe in God or even people who would consider themselves to be atheists, right, or people who— There are a lot of people who have been hurt by religion, you know, people who have been in church and been abused by people who were in positions of authority.
So, I would say to them that, first of all, you’re loved and there's nothing wrong with you. And even though you may find yourself in circles where people will try to put on you something negative because you say “well, I don't know what I believe or I'm not sure that I believe”, it’s okay. So, that’s what I would say to them. And I would invite them to just consider and that's my own message really to everybody, is consider the possibility. You know, investigate, explore your stuff, consider the possibility that perhaps there is a power outside of yourself, perhaps there is a creator, and see. See for yourself, but I also—
If I may, there's like a little excerpt in the book. I’ll just share this couple paragraphs. I actually have a chapter called believe in a power greater than you. So, belief, it's a small word and it’s also among the most ones. Belief is key to accessing the power of miracles in your life. Accessing the power of their creator. We all believe in something whether it’s God, or Jesus, or something else. Even people who profess to be atheists believe in something. They believe that there is no God. People who commit suicide often believe that there is no point in living. People whose hearts have been broken time and time again sometimes start to believe that all men are cheaters or all women are gold diggers.
[45:08]
It goes on and on. Humans are hardwired to believe. So, if you're not a Christian, belief still works. The mind is the manufacturing center of life. What you think and believe on the inside will eventually manifest itself on the outside. What we believe affects our thoughts, our perceptions, and ultimately our life experiences and outcomes. So, for people who are not “religious” or even people who are not “spiritual”, I would present to them that even if those things are true about you, you are human. And therefore, belief is something that applies to you. What you believe does affect how your life goes, what you draw to you, your behaviors, and your actions. So, I would appeal to those people in that way.
AT: Yes. I believe that to be true. And I love how that when we just think about it as beliefs and how our beliefs impact us that, again, that’s in our control. There's a real empowerment piece to your messaging in terms of how we go about this journey is really about us recognizing what our beliefs are and then choosing what do we decide to believe in and that speaks to the mindset piece that you also delve into. This book is so delicious sounding and so life transformative. Where can people find this book? Where can people learn more about you and how to work with you if they're curious about that?
JR: The book is available on Amazon. The easiest way to order the book is from my products page on my website. It’s joiross.com/products. So, you’ll find a link to order the book on that page. You’ll also find some free materials on mindset. So, I actually a growth mindset guide and then I think there a couple of other pieces that we’ve put up on the website that are all free for people to download on. Just making little micro mindset shifts. So, that’s all on joiross.com/products.
AT: Fabulous. Thank you. In our last mini round, you know, this podcast is really about being the change. It’s helping people to show up in a way that brings about the change that they wanna see in the world, they wanna see in their lives. And I have a certain opinion about what that means and I think other people have other opinions. Some people immediately think of Gandhi and the need to starve themselves and protest on a national level. That's one way and there are so many other ways we can be the change. So, I’m keen as we close out, what is being the change mean you?
JR: I'm discovering on this podcast, this interview that everything sort of in my life has this same sort of inside-out flow to it. So, for me, that means being intentional when I wake up every day, at a very practical level asking— I like to just like put out there in the universe what is my assignment today? How can I have a positive impact on the people that I'm going to come in contact with today? For me, it looks like just showing up in all of my comings and goings, all my interactions with others, really trying to show up being the best version of myself and showing up with a how can I give, what can I give, how can I be a blessing. And clearly, because I’m imperfect, it's not something where I hit the mark 0% of the time, but it sure is my goal. It sure is on my radar.
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It’s there on a very practical level as well as right now me doing the things that I believe I’ve been instructed to do that are a part of the reason why I’m on earth. So, it includes sharing this book. I’ve got a couple other books that I’ve been instructed to write. So, sharing that and just trying to be an encouragement to people in whatever form that takes. Trying to be loved. Right? Because people need to see what is love. What does that feel like? That's my way.
AT: I love it. I'm so glad that we got to sit and have this conversation. You have been such a delight to have here in circle and I know that we have impacted, you have impacted at least one person. You’ve changed their life by sharing your story with us today. And I'm so grateful for that because in a big way that's what this podcast is all about, but also just thank you for your life path, for listening to your intuition, for listening to those calls and taking action on them, and being the change. Making a difference in the world. So, much gratitude to you, Joi.
JR: Thank you so much. I'm grateful as well for the opportunity. It blesses my heart. I hope that if one person listens to this and it had a positive effect on them, then it’s worth it to me.
AT: I'm now passing the talking piece to you. If you feel called to put your voice in this circle, please head to www.humconsulting.ca/podcast and share your story there. I cannot wait to hear what has come up for you as you have listened to what has been shared here today.
I wish you love and joy beyond your wildest imagination. Thank you so much for being here in the Circle of Change.
I also want to express my gratitude to the following peeps: Circle of Change is recorded on the Lekwungen territory and I am so grateful to live on this land. Our opening and closing music was created by the talented E.Rol Beats. You can find his creations at erolbeats.com. And special thanks to my coach, Mary Chan of Organized Sound Productions for bringing this podcast to life.
Until next time, Ciao.